“It is almost as presumptuous to think you can do nothing as to think you can do everything.”
Phillips Brooks
Oh, Father, heal me of my need to be responsible. This one thing has fed my pride and is where my security lies. What compels me to carry the responsibility that might belong to someone else? Why is being responsible my default mode, what I run to, to find comfort? My false self of responsibility is how I cover up my pain from shame and not feeling good enough. Help me to feel acceptable even when I’m not being responsible. The need to be responsible has hurt my relationships and has caused me to have less joy and fun in life.
It is my responsibility that has caused me anxiety. I fear I won’t have enough physical energy or mental capacity to fulfill my responsibilities and obey what You have asked me to do. I don’t want to disappoint You or other people. Do I only accept myself when I’m responsible?
Thank you, Lord, for showing me how responsibility has been my lifeline, the way I’ve survived. It has been my ticket to being accepted, which is why it is so hard to let it go. I see how this has become my identity. If I’m not responsible, dependable, and reliable, then who am I? Do I believe the lie that You and other people will not love and accept me unless I’m responsible?
What if I’m most free when I’m not carrying the burden of responsibility?
Thank You, Father, for making this an issue with me because You want to heal this hurt and set me free. Lord let’s do this. Teach me. I submit to Your instruction. I want the weight of responsibility lifted so I am free to be me. I don’t want my overly responsible nature to stunt others’ emotional maturity by keeping them dependent upon me. I want a healed heart that leads to a well-balanced life, forming healthy relationships. Show me Lord, the root experience where this began and the lies I’ve believed which have perpetuated this responsibility idol. Release me Father from my bondage to being responsible.
“The whole secret of abundant living can be summed up in this sentence: ‘Not your responsibility but your response to God’s ability.’”
Carl F.H. Henry
Relevant Reflections:
1. In what way do you identify with my confessions of being a responsibility addict?
2. What other idol has caused havoc with your relationship with God and others?
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay