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Taming the Monster of Rejection

“Rejection is ‘a message that’s sent to the core of who we are causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God.’” 

Lysa Terkeurst 

There’s something beautiful, yet hard, when God brings up an issue in your heart that needs to be dealt with so that you can walk in greater freedom. Whenever God does this, it’s an expression of His love and care for you. Recently, God alluded to my wound of rejection and how I often assume rejection even when that isn’t the case. Desiring a connection with others and wanting close relationships with those I love can set me up to fear rejection. 

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare” (Proverbs 29:25a). I can testify how fear of man and the fear of rejection are the enemy’s traps. It’s his ploy to keep me from living the life God and I desire. Here is a checklist of how the fear of rejection can dictate my life. See if you can relate.


  • Not speaking the truth (difficult words) in love.  

  • People-pleasing and keeping peace at any cost. 

  • Having a lack of boundaries. 

  • Walking on eggshells so as not to ruffle anyone’s feathers. 

  • Lacking integrity and compromising my true self by not standing up for my beliefs. 

  • Caring too much about what people think and having my reputation be an idol. 

How do we tame the monster of rejection? Lysa Terkeurst writes, “At the core of who we are, we crave the acceptance that comes from being loved.” Who better to receive love and acceptance from than God? Isaiah 53:3 says how Jesus was despised and rejected; therefore, He understands how awful it feels to be rejected and our need for acceptance.  We can still be okay if others reject us if we know and experience a secure attachment with God. 

Becoming aware of and naming my fear of rejection are the first steps to taming the monster that all too often controls my life. Drawing closer to God and finding my acceptance and identity in Him helps me to be free to be my true self. Instead of allowing my fear of rejection to lead me, I want to be led by the Spirit in all I do and speak. 

“The truth, even though I cannot feel it right now, is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity...” 

Henri Nouwen 

Relevant Reflections: 

  1. Which things in the checklist do you most identify with? 

  1. How can you tame the monster of rejection? 

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

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