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Oneness Factor

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one.”

Mark 10:7-8

Many weddings today incorporate the lighting of a unity candle. The husband and wife take their separate lit candles and together light a third one. This signifies the two becoming one. Years ago my husband and I attended a marriage retreat put on by Marriage Ministries International and it was there we first learned of the principle called the “power of agreement.”

The power of agreement (POA), or the oneness factor comes into play when the husband and wife aren’t in agreement while making decisions. The POA encourages you to wait until you both are in agreement. This one rule has led to harmony in my marriage relationship. If God is in a decision, then both spouses will be in one accord. God is more than able to change hearts and direct it wherever He pleases. (Proverbs 21:1) We look at this as a safety net for our marriage, which prevents us from making a major choice based on our own bias.

While living in Chicago for John’s final year of training, we heard about a job opportunity for John in Omaha. John was excited to pursue it. I on the other hand wrestled with God, became angry and wept at the thought of not returning to our family and friends in Arizona. After a few weeks of processing my heart and praying to God, my heart changed. God made it clear we were to move to Omaha. I can’t imagine the rift in our relationship if we weren’t in agreement with this life changing decision.

Likewise, when trying to decide what to do in various areas of our lives, it behooves us to exercise the power of agreement with the Lord. After all, Jesus is our husband. We need to ask God for His desires for our lives which involve relationships and commitments that will take up a lot of our time, finances, attention or affection.

I don’t want to forge ahead with an idea because I want to do it. I first ask my earthly and heavenly spouses if they are on board with it. Our marriage relationships are preserved when we submit to the power of agreement with God and our spouse.

Exercising the oneness factor with God will save us a lot of heartache, instilling within us His peace and protection. The next time you have a decision to make, seek first the opinion from both of your spouses. You’ll be glad you did!

“Husbands and wives, recognize that in marriage you have become one flesh. If you live for your private pleasure at the expense of your spouse, you are living against yourself and destroying your joy.”

John Piper

Relevant Reflections:

1. What current major decision are you having to make?

2. Seek to discover your heavenly and earthly spouses’ desire.

3. Wait until you have the power of agreement before you plow ahead.

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