“Loving yourself well – embracing your foundational worthiness – is a prerequisite for allowing yourself to be loved well by someone else.”
Dr. Kelly Flanagan
In a few places in the Gospel of John, the author describes himself as “the disciple who Jesus loved” (John 13:23, 19:26-26). I appreciate how healthy the disciple John’s self-esteem was. He had the revelation of how great Jesus’ love was for him and he lived from that position of being God’s “beloved.” What would your life look like if you understood in your heart, not just in your head, that you were God’s beloved? I recently took the time to ponder this.
If I lived from the position of being “the beloved,” I would have no need to hide behind any masks. I wouldn’t feel compelled to perform and be who I thought others expected me to be to fit in and belong to a group. I wouldn’t have to act in a certain way to receive the acceptance I desperately wanted. I would be free from the oppressive weight of the responsibility of people-pleasing. Instead of fearing man and striving to earn acceptance, I would be content to simply be my ordinary self, knowing this is how God created me, that I’m enough, and I find my worth in Him. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14).
Living as God’s “beloved” every day would cause me to respond in these ways. I would listen more and talk less. I would be more interested in what others had to say than in sharing my opinions. Yet, I would also not hesitate to let my voice be heard when God prompts me to speak. I would feel more comfortable in my skin, caring less about what others thought and more about what God thought. There would be more alignment with who I am and who God created me to be. I’d lay down the need to prove my worthiness, knowing the intrinsic value of my worthiness. I would no longer need attention or to hear “atta-girls” because I am known, (seen, soothed, safe, and secure), by God. That alone is all I need to make me feel I am enough. I could walk into a room with confidence and feel comfortable being myself.
This is who I hope to be on Saturday night as I attend my 50th high school reunion. May my classmates experience what one woman looks like who is in the process of learning how to live from the position of being God’s beloved.
“Until you can see your worthiness for yourself, you won’t be able to see it through the eyes of anyone else, either.”
Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Relevant Reflection:
How would your life look different if you lived from the position of being God’s beloved?