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Judgmental Walls

“People can always sense when you are judging them, and it causes them to put up walls to defend themselves against your judgments, hindering the possibility of personal connection.”

Katherine Ruonala

Last week’s post was on a rebellious son and a religious son. I have struggled with being religious, performing and following the rules, to puff up my pride and feel better about myself. The end result is being judgmental in my heart and mind. Even though I may not say anything, I believe people pick up on it. When people feel judged, they shut down and cannot be their authentic selves.

Personally I have been affected by this. Jealousy breeds judgment and it prevents the freedom to be who God has created us to be. I have also experienced the opposite. When others see me like Jesus does and expects His gifts to flow through me, I rise to their level of acceptance and flourish. Our thoughts, judgments or acceptance, somehow defines people. I want God’s thoughts to define others and to free them to be all that He’s created them to be.

I remember on one of my dad’s visits, I so desired to receive my father’s blessing and I prayed for that to take place. One day, early on during Dad’s time with us, God interrupted my thoughts: Why do you need your earthly dad’s blessing when you already have Mine? At that point I released my dad from having to give me his blessing. I let go of any expectation. I no longer needed that since I was secure in my heavenly Father’s acceptance.

I believe Dad sensed the change in me. Even though I had never said anything to him about my desires, some how there was a shift and he knew it. He was no longer expected to give me something, instead, he was accepted as he was. He ended up saying it was the best vacation he had ever had.

Another reason why I don’t want to be judgmental, is because I don’t want to be judged. “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” (Romans 2:1) If I sow judgment, I will reap judgment. (Galatians 6:7)

People tend to judge others in the areas they judge themselves. Don’t let your judgments undermine your relationships. Let’s love and accept people, as well as ourselves, so that all of us walk in God’s freedom.

“Who judges others condemns himself.”


Relevant Reflection:

In what area do you judge others? Ask God to see them through His eyes of acceptance.

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