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Deeper Still

“Honesty gives others the freedom to be honest as well, opening up the possibility of deeper connection and friendship.” Shauna Niequist

After church a friend came up to me and expressed her appreciation for my vulnerability in my blog posts and how that makes people trust me. She was inspired by my cancer diagnosis post titled “Game On.” I told her how recently God has asked me to go deeper in sharing my heart and His heart with my blog audience. He wants me to leave the shallow part of the pool and wade into the deeper end and go deeper still with my readership.

It’s a process to get my heart right with the Lord, to the point I’m in a place where He can use my life as an inspiration. Shortly after my diagnosis and about a week before I sensed God was going to heal me, I noticed a shift in my thinking. I went from caring to not caring about what I ate; from having moderate self-control to very little self control in the food arena. It was as if I threw my hands up in the air and believed the lie, “what does it matter if I’m going to die anyway.” Giving up played right into the enemy’s hands. My attitude turned from being God-centered to self-centered. Apathy, having a lack of concern for normal disciplines, is dangerous because our desire to please ourselves trumps our heart to please God.

Fortunately, my heavenly Daddy cared and loved me enough to allow a brief bout of intestinal flu. His form of loving discipline brought me to the point of humble dependence upon Him. I repented for beginning to believe the lie I wasn’t going to live and for caving into the stronghold of food idolatry. I asked for His forgiveness for my gluttony, being greedy for food. And then I thanked Him for letting me have the flu to bring my stinking thinking and its affects to my attention.

I wonder if some of you are on the precipice of giving up. Please don’t do that. Instead, lean upon God to give you the grace to get through your current struggle. Choose to “demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (II Corinthians 10:5)

I hope my vulnerability will give others the courage to be more transparent and honest. Letting others see the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of me frees me from protective hiding and keeps shame imprisoned. Someone once said, “Intimacy is into-me-you-see.” I pray our relationship and ours with God will deepen, as a result of going deeper still with you.

“Honesty and vulnerability endear us to people; they don’t endanger us in our relationship.” Max Lucado

Relevant Reflections: 1. Is there an area in your life you are tempted to give up? If so, please talk to God and let Him encourage your heart. 2. Who in your life can you build trust and intimacy with by being more vulnerable? 3. What lies from the enemy do you need to take captive and replace it with God’s truth?

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