“We don’t ultimately become who we are; we unbecome who we are not.”
Deconstruction is the act of tearing down in order to build back up to God’s original design. God’s blueprint for each of us was that of being loved by Him, finding our worthiness in and through Him, and being chosen and deemed acceptable by Him. But something went royally wrong in the garden when sin entered. Our worthiness became hidden by shame and our need for acceptance skyrocketed, so we unconsciously decided it was up to us to prove our worth.
The Lord encouraged me to discover the little girl within, through deconstruction and taking down the scaffolding that is holding me up. If I removed all the props I’ve created to prove my worthiness, I would see my ingrained worth, what I was born with when God deemed me worthy. God says I’m valuable not because I clean up well or because I try to obey Him. It’s not my successes, or what others say about me that determines my value to God. It’s not what I do, but who I am, His loveable daughter, the one He is pleased with, that proves I’m worthy.
Props are those things we hide behind to feel good about ourselves. They’re the ways we counteract our shame and feeling we’re not good enough. Careers, marriage, parenting, accomplishments, accolades, physical appearance, ministry, and material possessions are a few of the props we strive for to feel we’re okay. Fill in the blank: When I ______, I will be happy, fulfilled, and have arrived. Whatever popped into your mind is that very thing God wants to deconstruct so you can BE worthy because you have great worth in the Creator’s eyes.
I’ve found that whenever I start to feel the need to perform, I must be feeling shame in some part of who I am. When we know we have intrinsic value and worth then there’s no need to use something to prop ourselves up. Kelly Flanagan in Loveable writes “The task is to slowly settle into doing nothing so you can experience being something, even while that something remains a mystery to you.”
Our selves need to go through the process of deconstruction, of who we thought we were all along, to find the real selves that God created us to be. “See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant” (Jeremiah 1:10). It’s time to deconstruct and remove all the props that say we are worthy, so we build up and discover our inherent value. Deconstruction is the pathway to worthiness.
“It’s about letting go of the things we do to feel worthy, so we can return to who we were before we forgot.”
What props do you utilize to ensure your worthiness?